“We were just looking for the easy way out when it came to getting the ceremony section ticked off our ever-growing wedding ‘to do’ list.”

I love it when couples tell me the truth! Katie and Nick weren’t the first couple I’ve married who were a bit confronted by the prospect of having to create their own ceremony – and I’m pretty sure they won’t be the last either…

There are so many aspects to consider when you’re planning your big day, and when every other supplier is bending over backwards to do things for you, it’s probably a bit weird to work with someone who expects YOU to write your own ceremony, (you can see why I do this here).

Humanism is a very simple philosophy. It asks you to try to think for yourself and try to be kind, and there is no time when thinking for yourself is more important than when you are about to get married.

That’s why we campaigned for more than 20 years to give you the freedom to say in your own words why you want to get married, (and humanists in England and Wales are still campaigning to this day), but perhaps because humanist weddings have now become so normal, I don’t think many couples realise what a privilege it is.

Nick and Katie definitely didn’t. As Nick said, “When we were planning the ceremony and you left it up to us we kind of huffed and puffed a bit. But genuinely, it made it the best part.“

“It made us really think about a part of the day that couples can easily slip past. You gave us a platform to be brave and tell each other why we love each other, and I’ll always be grateful to you for giving us that opportunity.“

And that was what made their ceremony so powerful. It’s easy to think that the vows are the climax of the ceremony, and most couples these days choose to write the own, but Katie and Nick did something different. They stood there in front of all the guests, and spoke their reasons to one another out loud.

Of course there were other funny, moving and powerful contributions as well.

I was really impressed by Nick’s sister Rebecca who told their story in the form of a poem which she wrote and kept secret until the day.

She was shortly followed by Katie’s cousin Lewis, who read us a popular poem by Cheryl Barclay called “The One”

And then it was ‘Vows Time’, when I was ably assisted by Alfie, the Ringbearer!

And after we’d signed the all-important Marriage Schedule,

Katie and Nick’s mums, Sue and Armande, came up and carried out the handfasting, which as I like to say is not “an ancient Celtic custom” – it actually comes from Old Norse…

it’s not often I get an email from a groom within a couple of days of the wedding, so this means a lot.

As Nick wrote, “Although in the grand scheme of the day you were only there for a short while, I wanted to thank you for your time and effort. You made Alfie feel at ease, you made me feel ready. I can’t speak for Katie, but you lit up the room and made everyone laugh.” 

(I know I’ve shared this already, but it’s important…) “When we were planning the ceremony and you left it up to us, we kind of huffed and puffed a bit. But genuinely, it made it the best part. It made us really think about a part of the day that couples can easily slip past. You gave us a platform to be brave and tell each other why we love each other, and I’ll always be grateful to you for giving us that opportunity.“

The  amount of people that have commented on the ceremony and how good you were makes me happy, because it’s often overlooked. Thanks Tim for pushing us to create a ceremony we’ll never forget. 

And of course I was delighted to read these words from Katie.

We just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU again for the part you played in our special day. On reflection, we were both genuinely surprised by just how many people commented on the ceremony (when usually people can’t wait for that bit to be over so they can just get on with the party). 

All of our guests loved how personal it was (especially that the two of us decided to be brave and speak) and also the inclusion of the handfasting, which I don’t think anyone had really seen before! 

So thank you for encouraging us to take the time and effort to make the ceremony our own… 

When we first spoke, we were just looking for the easy way out when it came to getting the ceremony section ticked off our ever-growing wedding ‘to do’ list. 

Looking back, we’re so glad we devoted our time, energy and love into it (as it IS the most important part of the day, and it certainly was for us.)

That’s a 10/10 from me too, Katie and Nick! Thank you again for embracing the process. One of the things I love about working this way is that every wedding I conduct has been inspired by ceremonies created by other couples, so it’s lovely to be able to let you know that I’ve already sent your script to several couples as an inspiration – and I did that even before I put this post together.

I’m really pleased I can now share your story as well, thanks to the very talented photographer Charlotte Nelson, who took these gorgeous shots.

Stay brave, stay in love, and stay in touch!