Ewan and Stewart’s Humanist Wedding at The Caves

Look at these photos, then tell me what’s missing…
Gaydar didn’t exist 23 years ago when Ewan & Stewart got together.
They met over the phone: this very one, in fact 
The Caves weren’t even a glint in Norrie Rowan’s eye then either…
Yes, this will be a kind of detective story
and these are not realistic portraits of the Groom & Groom
But they do love to travel…
Every wedding needs an usher
But only this one had an usherette…
Lots of their friends had speaking parts
and the boys arrived in style (The car is a Lanchester)
The music they played as we waited for them to make their entrance was very eclectic and included Pace Mihi Domine, by Jan Garbarek & The Hilliard Ensemble, Ennio Morricone’s theme from Cinema Paradiso and Eli’s Theme from Tomas Alfredson’s film Let the Right One In before they made their entrance to Doris Day singing Secret Love.
Stewart’s very glamorous mum
Ewan’s very happy family
Me giving them all my chat…
The ceremony was a total hoot
I loved the way they invited several of their guests to ask them questions


To which they could say


We Do


or even


 We Don’t!
Of course they wrote their own personal vows


which they kept secret from each other until the day


and which would have brought a tear to the proverbial glass eye
The guests absolutely loved it


Not least because they asked their mums to be witnesses


And then off they went to start the party
and enjoy a delicious dinner
Much has changed since Ewan and Stewart first met all those years ago.
The age of consent was 21 then: now it’s 16.
And of course same-sex marriage is now legal here in Scotland, which is wonderful.
But one thing hasn’t changed.
Homophobia is alive and well.
It thrives in all sorts of institutions, including education, the law and the armed services.
I’ve conducted a lot of same-sex weddings, and in every case until now, I haven’t been able to write about them because it might jeopardise the careers – or even the lives – of the participants.
 Until people are able to be open about their sexuality, I will continue to have to continue to disguise the identities of my same-sex couples.
Stewart and Ewan’s wedding was one of the most moving and meaningful ceremonies I’ve ever had the privilege of conducting, but it  frustrates both them and me that there are two important things missing from these fabulous photographs of their extremely happy day: their faces.
Ewan and Stewart sent me a note with these photographs from the lovely Lindsey MacKenzie Parker
We had the best and happiest day of our lives and the wedding, particularly the ceremony, was everything we could have hoped for.  Full of love, laughter and utterly human.  
So many of our friends and family said the sense of joy and love was palpable and it was, by far, the best wedding they’ve been to including their own!  
One of our guests, who is getting a divorce, said to me that watching our ceremony made him realise that he wasn’t in love when he got married.

 Our guests thought you were wonderful and some English friends said they would get married in Scotland now because they absolutely wanted a humanist wedding.

So thank you so much Ewan and Stewart for sharing these with me and my readers. It was a privilege to conduct your marriage and I wish you both many years of happiness to come!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *