I’ve just been reading Alain de Botton’s provocative book ‘Religion for Atheists’, in which he makes the point that whatever faults religions may have, they also have strengths, from which we can all learn. One of them is undoubtedly in creating a sense of community, and one of the ways they do that is by […]
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Once Upon a Time They Lived Happily Ever After – Telling Your Story
The story of your relationship, from first encounter to the moment you both say ‘I do’ is an important part of your ceremony, and there are lots of different ways of telling it. Earlier this year, at Sophie and Neal’s wedding in the Royal Botanic Garden one of their friends, Jamie Hall, came up with a really […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 11 – Photography
It’s all about the pictures!
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 3 – Involving Your Guests
In religious or civil weddings, the celebrant does most of the talking, and a couple of special guests are invited to give readings. In a Humanist ceremony, the celebrant generally welcomes the guests and makes the all-important legal declarations, but you’re more than welcome to involve your family and friends in delivering parts of the […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 2 – How do we stand?
One of the first things that you’ll notice when you go to a Humanist Wedding is the position of the bride and groom. Unless they’re really shy, they don’t stand with their backs to you, as they would do in a religious or civil ceremony, but stand on either side of the celebrant, looking at […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 1 – Making An Entrance
Over the six years I’ve conducted weddings, I’ve come to realise that there’s no such thing as ‘the traditional way’ to do anything. In truth there are lots of traditions, and you should feel free to draw on any or none of them! This is certainly true of the entrance of the wedding party. In […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 4 – The Exchange of Rings
The exchange of wedding rings between a man and a woman is still a comparatively new idea. Once upon a time, there was only one ring; the best man gave it to the groom, who gave it to the bride who wore it to her grave. The groom didn’t wear a ring at all, and […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 5 – What Can We Sing?
This is a question I’m often asked, so I was really pleased to see this list drawn up by my friend and colleague, Marilyn Jackson. They’re all simple enough and familiar enough to be sung by large groups of people of varying ability, with the possible exception of All You Need Is Love, by The Beatles, […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no.10 – Rehearsals – Who Needs ‘Em?
Opinion is divided. I don’t think anyone absolutely NEEDS to do a rehearsal, and I know that on the day, everyone will do pretty much what I tell them. BUT if it’s a big production number, with flower girls and bridesmaids and multiple contributors, then I think it’s worth taking the time to ‘block it out’. Or […]
Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 8 – The Vows – Official Guidance
One of the many attractions of a humanist wedding ceremony is that you are free to choose what to say to one another about why you love one another, what marriage means to you and what you promise. The wording of the legal declaration, however is another matter. As it says on the Registrar General […]