Step by Step Guide to a Humanist Wedding no. 3 – Involving Your Guests

In religious or civil weddings, the celebrant does most of the talking, and a couple of special guests are invited to give readings. In a Humanist ceremony, the celebrant generally welcomes the guests and makes the all-important legal declarations, but you’re more than welcome to involve your family and friends in delivering parts of the ceremony itself. Anita and Isra did that really well.


Anita’s family is from India and Switzerland; Isra is Colombian and their friends are from everywhere. One of the many great things about their wedding was the way they embraced my suggestion that they involve as many of their friends as possible in every aspect of it.

So Anita’s dad told us about the time that Mr Isra had beaten him at skimming stones…

Anita’s friend Tamer told us just how bossy Anita can be…

Anita’s mum, Elsbeth read from Neruda…

Savina told us what Isra thought when he first met Anita…

And everyone somehow managed to squeeze their way into the frame. 

So if you really want to make your guests feel a part of your day, think about how you can get them involved. One couple I married last summer had a lovely idea. They came up with about a dozen stories of their relationship, printed them out, cut them up into strips of paper, popped them into numbered envelopes, and then hid them under the seats. So when it was time to tell their story, it was a big surprise and nobody knew what they might find themselves saying until they opened the envelope.

Carol and Craig had another great idea. They wrote to all their friends, asking for their advice on marriage, and they got some great replies. Some were serious, some very emotional, but some were extremely funny. My favourite was “Get a good Pre-Nup” – it was signed Sir Paul McCartney…

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