Rebecca & Alex’s Humanist Wedding at Guardswell Farm

Photographs are such an important part of a wedding, but Alex and Rebecca gave them a whole new twist.

The first thing their guests and I saw when we arrived at Guardswell Farm were strings and strings of old photos. Nothing too unusual about that you might think, but wait and see…

It was lovely to see Alex walking his mum down the aisle before the ceremony began. That’s a lovely way to remind everyone that there are at least two families joining together in every wedding.

Even nicer was seeing the groomsmen coming in alongside the bridesmaids!

As I told the guests, Alex and Rebecca have a nightly tradition where they play a game of their own design called ‘Quiz of the Day’. It even has its own theme tune, which some of their friends already knew, so I invited Alex to sing it!

  But not before Rebecca came in on her father’s arm…

And so, when they were thinking about how to tell their story, Alex and Rebecca thought it would be fitting to invite everyone to take part in the official “Quiz of the Wedding”.  That was when the photos really came into their own…

On every seat, there was a two-sided card. On one side was the young Alex, with his long golden locks and on the other side was the equally young Rebecca, with her chubby cheeks. (I’m quoting here…)

Rebecca and Alex’s stories were quite different, so they decided to ask the guests to decide who’d done or said what. 

So I told their story, and when I asked a question, all the guests had to do was hold up whichever picture they thought was the right one. 

As I said, “We’ll just start with a quick tester question just so you know how the game works. Out of Rebecca and Alex, who was once ordered by their headmistress to cut their hair because it was too long?”

Wrong! It was Alex!

Needless to say, Alex’s mother, Silvena, was not best pleased at that suggestion…

It was such a great game, but what made it so special for me was that it all came out of the LoveWork process, as Alex told me when he sent me these great photos by the talented Cara Frew.

The LoveWork process was great overall. It was extremely cathartic and just an invaluable exercise to sit back and really take stock of the relationship we’ve built and, arguably, for the first time ever, really take the time to sit down and think carefully about just how much we mean to each other and how utterly important we are to each other. 

Needless to say, it was an incredibly emotional experience as well and for us, reinforced just how much we love each other and how grateful we are for the role we play in each other’s lives.

It was also an invaluable exercise in terms of shaping the ceremony and starting with a slightly wider perspective before narrowing and focusing down into what we wanted to say on the day itself. 

Most important for us was to have a ceremony that was personal, and genuine, and represented us – and where we had the opportunity to share how we feel with everyone in our lives that we love. 

So many ceremonies we’ve been to before are so formulaic, bland and lacking in character and emotion.

Your guidance was hugely appreciated, desperately needed and the example of previous ceremonies were a huge help for us to achieve that goal of a personal and genuine ceremony.

The reality is that we’ll never have another day ever again where we have all the people that are important to us in one room together. That just feels like such a momentous thing. 

To have that experience and that memory with the people that are closest to us is actually a little difficult to put into words – it feels totally surreal and just very, very precious.

It was an amazing day, with amazing weather in an amazing setting.You certainly contributed to that in a big way so we’ll always remember the role you played on our special day!

I really loved how Rebecca and Alex made their ceremony their own, in so many ways.

They shared their thoughts and feelings about marriage with each other and the guests.

They spoke their vows directly to one another.

And they created a ceremony that touched, moved and inspired everybody that was there – including me!

Thank you once again, Alex and Rebecca for choosing me to be your celebrant – it was an absolute joy to be part of your day. And thank you too, Cara Frew – your photos express all that joy so beautifully!

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