Ingrid and Tom’s Humanist Wedding at Jupiter Artland




There could have been no more perfect backdrop for Ingrid and Tom’s wedding than Nathan Coley’s illuminated artwork

And Tom may be a gambling man, but I’d bet that even he wouldn’t have put money on being able to get married outside in Scotland in October, but that’s what he and Ingrid did in the courtyard of Bonnington House, the Jacobean Manor that lies at the heart of the Jupiter Artland estate.

These photos, taken by Sam at Mirrorbox Photography, really capture the mood. As Ingrid said, “They’re the most beautiful photos of the best day of my life”, so I’m sharing lots of them!

This is the talented fiddle and guitar duo, Toby and Nick, AKA Anima. They bring a lovely gypsy swing feel to any wedding!




As Ingrid and Tom said in their ceremony, ‘Perhaps surprisingly for a poker player, Tom does not believe in luck.Instead he believes in chance and opportunity. So, when chance (and a leaky pipe in Ingrid’s dorm room) brought together these two people born at opposite ends of the world onto the same corridor in their university halls, Tom took the opportunity to get to know Ingrid better. They first became great friends and then, in the true British tradition of getting drunk in a nightclub and finally kissing, they became something more’. 

Jen’s friends and fellow doctors, Mariam and Jen, gave us the first reading, from Winnie the Pooh, by A.A. Milne.

Kirsten reminded us that ‘Love is a temporary madness,’ as Pelagia’s father, the wise Doctor Iannis told her in ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’ by Louis de Bernières.

Ingrid and Tom told us a little of what is was that made them realise that this is the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives, and then Tom’s mother Anita read the ‘Code poem for the French Resistance’ by Leo Marks.

When I asked Tom and Ingrid what marriage meant to
them, Tom summed it up by saying “Marriage is learning to be kinder and
giving more and more to each other with every passing day – it is
the pursuit of selflessness and willingness to sacrifice for the sake for
each other. This pursuit is impossible to ever fully attain and must
continuously nurtured.”

After a short pause for quiet contemplation, Tom and Ingrid spoke their vows and exchanged rings. 


Then we signed the Marriage Schedule, witnessed by Tom’s father, Nick, and Ingrid’s mother, Tina.

Along with these gorgeous photos, Ingrid said, “being able to write our own ceremony had so many advantages; least of all there were no surprises! Having organised the wedding with a fair amount of micro-management, I appreciated this. It was a very special thing to share with my husband and helped turn the wedding from this theoretical event in the far distance into something a bit more tangible in the run up to the event.”  

“Some of our favourite photos are those of the guests’ reactions during the ceremony. Writing it ourselves made it come from the heart, and that has such strong emotional impact. The guests involved in the ceremony really appreciated your subtle stage management!”

So subtle, Ingrid, that I didn’t even notice myself stage-managing, but I’ll take the compliment! 


Thanks again for asking me to conduct your wedding, and I wish you and Tom every happiness in the years to come!

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