Becky and Jim’s Humanist Wedding at The Caves

Jim and Becky are actors: it’s almost three years since I conducted their wedding at The Caves, and I’ve been itching to write about it ever since because the way they chose to open it was so original!

First of all, they chose not to go up onto the stage, like everyone else. 

They wanted to marry ‘in the round’, so we were down at the front of ‘the stalls’, along with about a third of the audience. The other two-thirds were split between the stage, and the balcony.

After the entrance of the wedding party, and before I said a single thing, a voice up in the gods lead off with the first line of a poem by W.H. Auden, “Oh Tell Me the Truth About Love”

Then a second voice chimed in from the stalls with the second line, and a third from the stage with the third, and so on. OK, they are actors but it really was a brilliant ‘coup de theatre’

I finally caught up with them just the other day, and Becky explained that what with having had a baby, and moving home while expecting another, she’d had a lot on her mind recently! But this is what she said about the day. 

“It was the most perfect event we could have wished for. The main thing that stands out to us and to those who still talk about it to us was that it was a complete embodiment of everything we are. 

We often get comments from family and friends that they have never been to such a memorable and personal service and day. I feel that this was to do with everything from the words we spoke and the fact that we had a hand in everything from the flowers to the cake and much more. 

I feel that working with you gave us the tools and confidence to do this. I was rather forlorn at our first anniversary that we will never get to do the day again. Life has been non stop since then and I can’t believe it’s been less than 3 years since we got married. 

I think this is one of my favourite photos – I’ve never heard a song sung so well at a wedding – but then you can’t go wrong with a bit of Madness!”

I hope one day to have a few more photos, but even without them, this will always be one of my most memorable weddings.

The ideas to take away? Remember – more than one person can read the same poem, and you can never go wrong with a bit of Madness!

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