Unlike quite a few of my friends, I never had the pleasure of meeting Sean Hughes, the gifted writer and comedian who died yesterday. I was aware of his comic genius, but I’d never read this poem, which was reproduced today in The Guardian. I hope someone is asked to read it at his funeral!
Death by Sean Hughes
I want to be cremated
I know how boring funerals can be
I want people to gather
meet new people
have a laugh, a dance, meet a loved one.
I want people to have free drink all night.
I want people to patch together, half truths.
I want people to contradict each other
I want them to say “I didn’t know him but cheers”
I want my parents there,
adding more pain to their life.
I want the Guardian to mis-sprint three lines about me
or to be mentioned on the news
Just before the “parrot who loves Brookside” story.
I want to have my ashes scattered in a bar,
on the floor, mingle with sawdust,
a bar where beautiful trendy people
Will trample over me … again
- Taken from Sean’s Book by Sean Hughes, published by Pavilion in 1993. Among Sean’s other great lines is this one, which appeals to me for obvious reasons.
“God is amazing because he’s fucked up my life – and he doesn’t exist both at the same time, which is quite a skill.”