Meredith and Joel’s Humanist Wedding at Carlowrie Castle

Meredith and Joel got in touch with me just over three months before their wedding in July of this year. 

As you may have guessed from their names, they’re from the USA and they decided to come over to Scotland with their closest family and friends for ‘a destination wedding’ in the Orangerie at the glamorous Carlowrie Castle.

Just to make it a bit more of a challenge, they wanted to have a legal ceremony, which involved a fair bit of paper-chasing and official-hustling on their part, and it’s a credit to their energy and determination that they did finally manage to get their official letter of approval from the Home Office in time to allow the Registrar General of Scotland to give them the all-important Marriage Schedule for us to sign on the day. If, like them, you’re planning on doing this from overseas, click on this link to find out what’s involved.

Legalities apart, this was always going to be a fun day. Meredith is a lady who knows her own mind, and when she finally gave in to the persistent nagging from her friends Dan and Jess and created a profile online, she had no truck with the usual nonsense. When Joel messaged her, she bluntly replied, “if you’re at all interested, here’s my number: give me a call’. Joel did. Clearly he had no idea what he was getting himself into!

Their first date was in a sushi bar. Of course it was: they lived in LA at the time… Meredith wasn’t sure if Joel was a serial-killer with bad shoes or a genuine nice guy, but Joel reckoned that if this fashionista was prepared to order duck fat fries with her burger, he was with the right girl.

Meredith’s Maid of Honour, was her college roommate and best friend, Lauren. The pair of them are known as Bossy and Bossier. I’ll let you work out which one is which…

Joel’s Best Man was his friend, bodyguard, and partner in crime for fifteen years, Darryl. They’d make an excellent tag team in WWF, don’t you think?

I liked the way that before the ceremony began, Joel walked in with both his parents.

Meredith chose the more traditional entrance, with her father, and my old friend John Rae, AKA The Pickled Piper.

They had some great ideas for the ceremony. First of all, they invited their friend Susan to give us a reading of a poem I hadn’t heard before by Terah Cox called Time Travellers

Then they combined a ring-warming ceremony with a pause for quiet contemplation, so all the guests could hold the wedding bands in their hands and think about Joel and Meredith before the time came for them to exchange their vows.

I was also really pleased that they decided to get their guests to make some promises to them before they made their personal vows to one another. I call that ‘The Guest Vows’ and it’s a great way to remind everyone that they’re not there just to give you some nice bed-linen: they’re a part of your future!

Having brought their guests almost to the climax of the ceremony, they then cleverly delayed it as they both spoke of their reasons for wanting to marry each other directly, from cards.

Lauren gave Joel’s ring to Meredith, while Darryl gave Joel Meredith’s ring, as they spoke their vows. Meredith isn’t a traditional kind of gal, so she chose to wear her wedding ring on her pointer finger, rather than the usual third finger of the left hand. 


Then we signed the Marriage Schedule, with more emotion than usual: they actually brought along their original letter from the Home Office just to double prove their wedding was real!

I could tell it was going to be a great party! 

A couple of days ago, Meredith sent me these excellent reportage-style shots from the talented Glasgow-based lensman, Neil Thomas Douglas, and this note.

“I wanted to thank you for all that you did for us leading up to our ceremony, and of course the ceremony itself. It was an amazing day, and everything was perfect. Joel and I can’t thank you enough.” 
The pleasure was entirely mine, Meredith. You took the idea of creating a ceremony that was original and full of meaning, and you ran with it, and for that I can’t thank you enough either!

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